October 20, 2011

At Least He Tried?

"So I didnt miss read your screenname but im still not sure I understand it, but thats ok, and what has you thinking about fire routines, do you mean you fire juggle or what not?Thats pretty awsome if so, like to see that, I have been to quite a few parties where people were doing that.So look like you said Im going to cut through the the bullshit,I want to find someone to get to know and enjoy time with, I need something soft against my face.I dont mean that I am only looking to fuck because I do want to be able to do more than that with you. Although of course like any man, I do want a pretty woman to lay beside.Im not looking for manogomy either, just a fun chick to hang with.I know alot of good spots to watch good music at around the triangle and in Greensboro as a matter of fact.My name is [censored], I hope you will respond back with your name,but Ill call you Tig until you say otherwise.Tell me more about what you are in search of even if it is going to change by friday."

My standards are not too high. My standards are not too high. My standards are not too high...

I mean, he at least read my profile. That's gotta count for something right? Right?

Yeah, I didn't think so either.

October 19, 2011

Still Here After All

I'm going backwards through my inbox at the moment, I have messages from last year still in there. Holy mackerels, Batman!

This was originally sent to me back in December '10. You can see why I found it a bit, well, underwhelming.

"Hi i just wanted to say good luck to you, I hope you find what you're looking for :). I'm planning to get off here, i guess hoping to meet someone in real life. Anyway all the best to you. take care, bye"

Thanks, I guess? Well, anyway, their profile is still there and active. I'm gonna take gamble and say that in person didn't work out any better for them than the website.

October 18, 2011

Nobody Understands the Words Coming Out of Your Mouth

Forgot that I had this one...

"Damn form, you make me want to move back to NC. I grew up there, just been in Atlanta for awhile now. Might move back after I finish my program in school I would love to meet you one day when I'm in town, so if you would like to be friends and that's cool with you. That's cool. If bait, I did read tour profile and I respect that to. I hate when people contact me from out of state and then have a nerve to want me to fly them out here because I'm the man. LMAO... I would say this situation is different because I'm in Raleigh alot, because my family is therw, and may take a job at the new Boeing facility in Greensboro. Well any way. I think you are a sexy MOTHA[frell], so no matter what happens, know you caught my eye. Be good, stay dark, and by all means, stay keeping it real." 


What? I think I need to find a better translator app for this. Or drink more.

September 6, 2011

You Want What?

So once again, I'm not getting quality messages. It happens. I'm too busy with my new career to really worry about dating, so updates will probably be sporadic. Oh and getting dumped by the guy I was seeing also hasn't helped my mood.

This message rolled in shortly after I added this to my profile -

To be blunt - I don't want to talk about your penis.  I don't care if your penis falls off and is consumed by a wombat.

The message:

Hi, how are you? I'm looking for a 3rd to join me and a girl I'm seeing for a bit of fun. If that's something you might be interested in, cool - just tell me what you'd like to know. I'm hoping the prospect of both a penis and a vagina is more tempting than just a penis alone.  


July 29, 2011

Polyamory =/= Polygamy

This little beauty rolled in a few days ago.

"wow, powerful profile, believe me, you kind of profile screens away 98% of guys. that is wonderful. I love your idea of polygamy because it is the real definition of freedom and equality. I love making friends with people value freedom. Talking to ladies with the ideal of getting laid in mind only ends up in depression. I love to hang out with mature ladies and ideals and experience. I hope you take me as a real friend."

Let's go make friends with Merriam-Webster, shall we?

poly-am-ory noun: the state or practice of having more than one open romantic relationship at a time

po-lyg-a-my noun: the state or practice of being married to more than one person at the same time

Just a wee bit of a difference there, yes? I reread my profile and I do state that I'm polyamorous. I couldn't help myself and replied to this guy, I just couldn't help myself. You wanna know what I said, right?

"I'm sorry, I'm not a Mormon."

July 26, 2011

Who Could Ask for Anything More?

So my normal site for these trolls has actually stopped allowing for message titles, or at least doesn't automatically put in (No Subject) any more, so I'll have to start getting witty here with naming these messages. Watch out, it could get dangerous.

In happy news, I'm actually sorta seeing someone currently that I guess could count as meeting off of a dating site. We actually met at my old work and then I stumbled upon his profile. Go figure, right?

But onto what you're actually here for.

"Once you go black you never go back?? Ok, not that originial...How's it going tonight?
So your profile was cool up until I read you liked the Other Boleyn Girl....why?????!"

Right, so you think your race will get you laid and that I'll eventually leave you for someone else of your race. Fail, though you did have some points until you decided to get out of control about my choice of literature/movies. Never ask a girl why she likes a chick flick.

I'm digging through my inbox trying to find stuff actually worthy of reading. Mediocre really just doesn't cut it with me.

July 20, 2011

Great One Liners Part Two!

Hey all. Sorry this kinda fell by the wayside. For a while I wasn't getting enough content to update and then was briefly made a manager at work, so life got in the way of life. After Valentine's day a lot of messages slowed down, I had been saving a lot of these one liners for a while now, so tada, some more great content for everyone. Didja miss me? ;)

"love that mouth"

"sex is to you??" 


"Miss do you like cuckolds" 

"preference on penis size?'" 

"i want open cam to you :)" 

"my gf ia 21 and bi want to come to Vegas? :)"

"hi I am a single guy looking for someone to make out with one time I have never done this before I like kissing and have not done it in about two years!" 

January 12, 2011

Rumors of My Death Have Been Greatly Exaggerated

So I'm alive, I survived the chaos storm that is the retail holiday and my birthday, I'm sorry I've abandoned this for so long. I should have figured out how to do the automatic update, but I'm sorry I was just too exhausted to.

Anyway, this entry is unfortunately a bit of a rant.

We've all seen the funny/blatantly copied and pasted messages I get, but sometimes I get stuff that's unpleasant to say the least. For example, the two comments that were left on a note I posted about my Enneagram test results were completely rude. I scored as a type 8 personality according to this test, and because it seems to describe me so well, I posted it up. Here's the comments that were left.

"Eights write posts that no one gives a flying fuck about."

"You are more like a 3 who could be a 4 if she dropped 30lbs."

Now why these "gentlemen" chose to comment at all is beyond me. This is the classic internet forum type of troll, the type who are just out to say the meanest, nasty thing that they could possibly say to another human being. These are your 4channers, people who hide behind being anonymous so that they can get away with saying such nasty comments. In real life these people wouldn't have the balls to speak up.

However it irks me greatly when people do stuff like this. I really don't give a damn about what they think, it's not like I was ever going to sleep with them or that they meant anything to me, but I've lost track of how many times I've been called names and told other crude things when I turn someone down. I mean do girls really talk to these ass hats after they get called a slut because they won't sleep with them?

Here's an old troll message that's always bothered me:

"hey girl, one question for you....who hit you with the ugly stick?"

I mean is there some new fetish developing for getting negative reactions out of people? This gentleman in particular I sent a message back to calling him a disgrace of his generation (he was 59, I was 19 at the time) and thanking me for giving me so much hope about the future. But I'm not the only one who's gotten messages like this, we've even all seen the forum posts from people who are nothing but nasty to others for no reason at all. I just don't get it, what's the point? Do guys think that by lowering a girl's self esteem that she'll suddenly want to sleep with them? Why do people go out of the way? I never understood bullying, albeit I was the victim of it my entire school career. What's the point? I'm not asking us to all get a long, but why do people go out of their way to say something mean to a total stranger?

I know I'm not everyone's cup of tea, just as everyone isn't mine. But damned if I'm going to go out of my way to be mean to anyone, I don't have time for that nor do I see the point.